Its been a lovely 6 months off from writing as we gave birth to our 3rd baby boy Presley. Life is full and fantastic.
Recently I was seen on Sunrise discussing men and their relationships with strip bars, strip clubs and topless waitresses. A heavy blog to start back on, but it brought many comments from my live discussion on Kochie’s Angels.
Every man has a right and free will to head where they want to but what a man thinks, his heart will follow. I do not condone or respect any man that walks into one of these clubs to look at females from the perspective of sexual desire, since men and women like sex, and toys from sites as Wet For Her can help a lot with this. It seems I may be part of a minority these days. It is the norm for Bucks to include strippers and many men and women now condone that “most men go to these clubs” so its accepted. Well it is not.
What identity are we teaching our children and how are we expecting our little boys to grow up if they think this is acceptable behaviour? What are we teaching them to see in a woman? Beauty on the outside and objectification as opposed to values, morals and righteousness?
The same applies for young girls. We have a beautiful body God gave us not to flaunt, flirt and leave to a man’s prying eye but kept special and sacred for that of our husband and ourselves.
These days we see on social media that selfies are “liked” more depending on the level of sexiness in the pout and the more revealing the cleavage.
I’m sorry, I’m not up for it, that is left for myself to look at in the mirror and that of my husband to view.
What manifests in a man will only grow stronger the longer you feed it.
I loved emails I received from the discussion on TV; one from an army officer himself which read
Hello Elka wanted to write to say good job on Sunrise with the topless barmaids issues. I watched you just before I headed off to work.
Totally inappropriate behaviour. And if it happened on Defence property, Defence should come down hard on those who approved and arranged it. I don’t even allow FHM or Zoo magazines in the workplaces I control because of their derogatory nature towards women.
And also agree with your stance that all men should strive to not participate in that sort of stuff. Unfortunately by saying that it got the conversation off topic onto that because it is such a radical stance to take. But a totally important stance to take. Men need to be told that it is not cool to go to strip bars / watch strippers at Bucks Parties / watch porn. We can’t legislate against it, but like you did, men need to be told that participating in this sort of behaviour is not cool. That it is disgusting. And clearly, some women also need to hear that they should be disgusted at men who do so.
Unfortunately the world has told men differently
Captain ( name protected)
Defence Cooperation Program
and a lovely mother’s perspective here
Hi Elka, I wanted to write and thank you for taking a stand for women the other morning on Sunrise. As the mum of a pre-teen girl and a teenage boy, I am trying to raise them to respect their bodies and those of the opposite sex. There is no need for so much explicit nudity in our society, and I want my daughter to grow up with the expectation that she will be respected by men for her attitude to life, her character and so much more than just her body. Likewise with my son, I am trying to raise him to respect women for who they are on the inside, not just their physical appearance. Thank you for being honest about your opinions in spite of the fact that they may be in the minority. This is not just an issue for our defence force, but for our society. We applaud you for taking a stand and thank you for doing it on the public stage.
You can be hugely successful and regarded with elegance, style and grace by remembering that your brains show your beauty. Ladies we are more than just our bodies and men; how would you feel if you walked into one of those bars with your mates and your precious daughter was topless for all to see?